blood-stained calloused hands, know the sacrifice of love, in wild desert lands
There is a sacred grove that grows in the heart of my soul made up of Wise Ones i have encountered along my sole’s wandering. Fragrant Junipers and Wildly Shaped Pinons mostly. They whisper the wisdom of the desert through their sturdy windswept branches.
Dwelling in a different kind of canopy, a craggy red-rocked canyon, revealing the lifeblood of Earth Herself, this grove of Wise Ones waits, watching me as I enter their midst. Sun-kissed desert dust whips and whirls around me, glinting gold, a trick the New Mexican sun does in the moments just before sunset. Every Being here is bathed in warm golden light.
i walk into the grove and sit on the stony ground, the sun at my back. My shadow reaches beyond the boundaries of this circle, but i am present here at the place of these Wise Ones, waiting…
Held in this blood-red canyon, i sit and await a soft word of love… but it does not come.
Sun beats down on my neck at this golden hour, the earthy scent of juniper fills my lungs when a rare cooling breeze comes our way… but i do not perceive this as the soft word of love.
The wind picks up and whips through the Wise Ones who surround me. They wail… and in their wailing, i learn that Hers is a different kind of love.
It is not the kind of love easily found in the soft, soothing, smiling voice that arises in sweet birdsong of lush, wet, green places.
This desert love is fierce and comes from One who is not afraid of true Wilderness, what many throughout history have called profane, vicious, violent, grotesque…
Held in Her blood-stained calloused hands, or maybe Her teeth, i come to know She will stop at nothing to protect me, but She also tells me i must get a few scratches and callouses myself.
This sort of love is risky, She says, for it requires an opening and giving of the heart to the cycle of death, birth, and life reflected so strongly in this desert land.
Are you ready to give your heart to the desert? She asks.
Yes, i say.
Yes, yes, yes…
Wild Wholeness, lead us into unknowns
Wild Wholeness
Who ignites my soul and soles
with sun fire and gold
Who nips at my heels
and sweeps me along in harsh dusty winds
luring me deeper into desert realms
You lead us into unknowns
so we may learn how to find our way
how to discern
to act from our purest of instincts
our wild and whole selves
(this, this is Your gift
You cried, “It is finished…”
leaving us here
on the desert of this day
longing for You
and forging a way forward
somehow…
in Your absence)
Holy Saturday Prayer
